Today I had the amazing privilege of physically meeting a friend that I only known through facebook. We became friends after Kennedy's tragedy, she followed my story, offered me inspiration, prayed for us, she did all of this without ever meeting me. All the while she was following my story, I was following hers, she has cancer. Breast cancer. 3 times in her young life she has been diagnosed with the unimaginable. She is fighting hard since this last diagnosis. I saw her request on facebook to have someone sit with her because she does not want to be alone. I felt so compelled to meet her that I offered and she accepted.
I spent this time with her doing nothing really, just being there. I am sure she got wigged out when I started to cry but how could I not. This amazing woman is fighting hard and it is taking everything in her to even stand up and take 6 steps into the bathroom, yet she smiles and thanks me for coming.
We talked a lot about Kennedy and God, and why things happen. I hate that I do not have any answers, heck I didn't even have anything comforting to say to her, I cannot even begin to imagine what she is going through.
I have so many "why's" today. Why does God let us suffer? Why did He allow Kennedy to die? Why does he take the people that affect so many? Why can't I offer her more? Why is there not a cure for cancer yet? Why, Why, WHY?
I plan on visiting her again, if she will have me. It is so easy to go about our day and our life and not see the people around us suffering, fighting, struggling, whatever. Again my eyes have been opened to the harsh reality of life. I will make the best of it while I am here I guess.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
Wow it's been a long time!
Wow! My last blog was over a year ago! So much has happened since then. I am finally finished with school (for now anyway). Bristol has turned 3. My job is keeping me busier than ever. My book writing has been on a break for well over a year now. Bristol is almost fully potty trained. We adopted a doberman mix, Diesel. We just marked the 4 year anniversary of Kennedy's death.
We have been enjoying our weekends at the lake. Bristol loves the lake, the boat and swimming. She is much like Kennedy in this aspect. She is slowly learning to swim which makes me feel both tense and relieved at the same time. She is a fun kid and finally talking so much more! She is still super wild and most every time we go anywhere she is in her cowboy boots. It does not matter what she wearing and how silly it all looks together, she has to wear those stinky boots!
I still cannot believe it has been 4 years. Some days still feel like just yesterday and some days it feels like forever ago. Bristol knows her Sissy, we eat lunch at the columbarium as much as we can. She now makes me take her picture standing near her Sissy every time we go. She also says "bye Sissy, love you" when we leave, it is so sweet. We keep Kennedy's beary on the headboard of our bed and Bristol is not allowed to play with it or really touch it for that matter, but within the last month she will stand up in the bed (yes she sleeps in my bed) and kiss the beary goodnight. Melts my heart.
I had a rescue worker that worked for Orange Beach Fire Department reach out to me. He responded to Kennedy's call. He tried so hard to save her and gave me details that made me fall to my knees in hysterics. He is hurting so much. He said that unfortunately he has responded to calls of that nature before but for whatever reason Kennedy's has been the hardest for him to get over. I have no idea what gift that sweet Angel had but I cannot begin to tell you the amount of people that have told me how memorable she was. Anyway, he went on to explain that he cries for us, prays for us and thinks about us a lot. He has no idea how much we have thought about all of the people involved in that day. I usually don't ask for prayers but if you find it in your heart to say a little prayer for the man that gave his all to save our sweet Kennedy I would appreciate it so much.
Till next time....(hopefully I can get back to this regularly)
We have been enjoying our weekends at the lake. Bristol loves the lake, the boat and swimming. She is much like Kennedy in this aspect. She is slowly learning to swim which makes me feel both tense and relieved at the same time. She is a fun kid and finally talking so much more! She is still super wild and most every time we go anywhere she is in her cowboy boots. It does not matter what she wearing and how silly it all looks together, she has to wear those stinky boots!
I still cannot believe it has been 4 years. Some days still feel like just yesterday and some days it feels like forever ago. Bristol knows her Sissy, we eat lunch at the columbarium as much as we can. She now makes me take her picture standing near her Sissy every time we go. She also says "bye Sissy, love you" when we leave, it is so sweet. We keep Kennedy's beary on the headboard of our bed and Bristol is not allowed to play with it or really touch it for that matter, but within the last month she will stand up in the bed (yes she sleeps in my bed) and kiss the beary goodnight. Melts my heart.
I had a rescue worker that worked for Orange Beach Fire Department reach out to me. He responded to Kennedy's call. He tried so hard to save her and gave me details that made me fall to my knees in hysterics. He is hurting so much. He said that unfortunately he has responded to calls of that nature before but for whatever reason Kennedy's has been the hardest for him to get over. I have no idea what gift that sweet Angel had but I cannot begin to tell you the amount of people that have told me how memorable she was. Anyway, he went on to explain that he cries for us, prays for us and thinks about us a lot. He has no idea how much we have thought about all of the people involved in that day. I usually don't ask for prayers but if you find it in your heart to say a little prayer for the man that gave his all to save our sweet Kennedy I would appreciate it so much.
Till next time....(hopefully I can get back to this regularly)
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