Christmas Cheer

So much has been going on! Where do I start? BRISTOL! She's walking/running everywhere. It seems like she grows up a little more each day. She is a mess! Daddy has her so spoiled rotten and it's making him crazy. Ha!

I went out on a limb and applied for a promotion at work. I GOT THE POSITION-Director of Health Services! I am super excited. I really am amazed at how much I love my job and the people I get to work with everyday. Hopefully they will keep me around for awhile:)
Joe has been busy, this is his busy season. The good thing is, he stays out of my hair. I am working on socializing more, most people that are friends with Joe have no idea he has a wife. I do exist I just don't like to socialize much.

Christmas, we always have such a hard time with the holidays but I am determined to make this better. We normally buy gifts for a little girl and drop them off at a local toys for tots drop off location. This selfishly has fulfilled my need to buy gifts for Kennedy. This year we are doing it different. Yesterday I called our local women's shelter and they connected us to a mother that is out of a domestic violence situation and living in the shelter. She has a 2 year old girl and 3 year old boy. We are giving them Christmas! I am so excited to be able to witness them opening gifts and seeing their faces when they do. I am not saying this for any reason other than to let our family know that rather than sending gifts to Pennsylvania that you may or may not use, we will be sponsoring this family.

School is going on, still. I must say I'm a bit burned out. Thankfully I graduate March 2014. I will definitely be taking some much needed time off from it then!

Today someone bought my coffee for me in the McDonald's drive thru line and it made me realize that we all just live our lives day to day going through the motions. That simple gesture made my entire day! Unfortunately the guy also bought the guy behind me his meal so I couldn't pay it forward then but I did in the Chik-Fil-a drive thru at lunch today. The lady sped up to me at a light and waved while holding up her bag. Her smile was huge! It is such a good feeling to help or do good for others, I wish I had the resources to do this more often or on a larger scale.

Where has this summer gone?

Wow! I cannot believe summer is going to be over soon. It has flew by! Things have been going really good for us. I am loving my job and couldn't be happier with my decision to change jobs. I really work for a great company that cares about their residents and employees it feels good! I love all of the staff that I get to spend each day with. Our team is getting so strong! I still miss my Brookwood girls and hope/wish I could get to see them more. You girls were, and still are, there for me through such a hard time in my life.

I am halfway through my 3rd semester of my Master's, I actually have an anticipated graduation date of April 2014! It seems like forever away but I know it will fly by. I'm blogging this on my lunch break right now, when I should really be working on a paper, whatever, I need a break too!

Joe and I have signed up for a Warrior Dash. I guess I really am crazy. We, actually I, have been training hard. I am anticipating beating Joe in this race. He will go crazy if I do! Our recent trip to PA has made us really understand how important family is and how important it is for us to all stay in contact, no matter how far away we may be.

Bristol took 4, YES 4, steps all by herself on Sunday! I'm one excited mama! Maybe soon you all will hear me complaining about having to chase after her running around. She is so hard headed and will only do things on her own time. Lord help us when potty training comes around. Do kids have to be out of diapers before they start kindergarten? Whose rule is that if so? LOL. She has also started to talk more. She now says "shoes", I love it, she has a early addiction like her mama!

July 2 was two years since Kennedy went to Heaven. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about her, hurt from missing her or thank her for the time she gave me. We love that little girl! Late July was kindergarten registration, driving by the elementary school without my little girl in the back seat was heart wrenching. She and I should have been there getting all ready to go to the big school. Instead all I have are what if's.... August 26 is Kennedy's fifth birthday. I plan on having a birthday party for her complete with another balloon release and a visit to her columbarium at OLV.

To this day I look at my life and where I am now and what I have been through and I have no idea how I got here. My strength waivers at times and I have my breakdowns and I wish that I never experienced the death of a child. It's hard but somehow I keep moving forward. I only hope I can inspire someone else.

All in a day's work

Well the last two weeks have been crazy to say the least. My new job is awesome. It is really a great company to work for, my coworkers are great! I have had to do some public speaking as the President and Vice President introduced me to the facility, I was completely out of my element but as crazy as it is, I'm getting used to it. Managing staff is difficult but rewarding. I actually feel like I am making a difference in our staff.
I am so excited to have my weekends back. I had no idea that people that frequently hung around Joe had no idea who I was. Finally a social life!
Initially when I took the job I decided that we needed someone at the office to do my job, turns out I am able to manage both. This means extremely long days for me, and Joe-who is watching Bristol in the afternoons, but I'm just not ready yet to turn over the business to anyone else.
School... oh school. I'm still working on it, in 2 weeks I'll be done with my second semester. April 2014 cannot get here soon enough! I am burned out already with the amount of presentations, papers and projects that I have already done.
Bristol had a great first birthday celebration. She is teething again. Her bottom two teeth came in early, it's the top two that are going to drive us all nuts. She is still not walking, but she can crawl so stinking fast. I think by the end of the month she will be walking, she will stand now and she pushes her little toy around the living room while she's walking behind it. I almost dread her walking, she is a climber, and walking just gets her that much higher up.
The book. Yeah, I have to confess, I have not even thought about working on it in awhile. I think when things settle down some I will get back to it.

Bristol's turning ONE!

I cannot believe how time has flown by! Bristol will be ONE! It really seems like just yesterday that I was finding out I was pregnant with her. She has been such a blessing to us, in so many ways. Bristol came into our lives when we needed her most. She, in many ways, kept us alive. Her demanding personality is exactly what we need, even though I will complain about it. She keeps us busy at times that we need to be kept busy. As she is turning into a little person her loving and always-wanting-to-please-us attitude is coming out more and more. We love her so much!

School for me is moving right along. I am definitely feeling the course load of Master's degree work.

I took a new job at a local assisted living facility as their RN Wellness Coordinator. I am so looking forward to starting this avenue of my nursing career. It is a Monday-Friday position, something that will require some adjusting too having worked just weekends for the past 4 years! I cannot wait though, to have a normal schedule and a normal social life again! The facility seems like a great place to work, the company really seems to care about it's employees. I can't wait to get started!

With all that is going on, I am thinking about a facebook break. I can't believe I just typed that! I spend a lot of time looking at my phone, mostly because I have the time. In trying to focus on my new job and finishing my degree I am considering inactivating my account. Who knows, I guess I will see how things go....

Things I should be doing.

This time of year seems to be the hardest. Kennedy loved it. In the words of Kenny Chesney "sunny days seem to hurt the most". There are so many things that I know I should be doing such as:
~Signing Kennedy up for Kindergarten. I just cannot believe that she would be old enough to start school. A dreaded time in most parents life, sending their child off to school, I could only wish.
~Witnessing Kennedy come down from the high of being in Disney World. I couldn't help but think how much she would have loved it. The princesses were her favorite. There was even a Handy Manny, we never got around to see him though, painful.
~Letting Kennedy plan her fifth birthday party. Would she have wanted ponies, inflatables or a pool party. I will never know.
~Watching Kennedy and Bristol play together. Although Joe and I decided that they would probably fight a lot. They are both pretty strong headed.
~I really should be cleaning my nasty house.
~Working on school work that I keep putting off.
~Planning Bristol's first birthday.

Some things on my list will never, ever be crossed off and I have to live with that every single day of my life. Checking off the things I can check off keeps me moving forward. Is this the way my life will always be? I have no idea but I have realized that when I take smaller steps I get further.

Our first night in Orlando was filled with nightmares. I dreamt of the ocean and violent waves. This was my first dream ever like this. It was awful. Another one of the many visions I have to live with every single day.

I hate grieving. It never goes away. I cannot take Tylenol and a nap and wake up with it gone. Bristol knows when we are grieving, she is usually very needy those days. I swear she is just trying so hard to make it better on us and keep us busy. I love her so much for that and at the same time hate that we cannot be happy all.the.time. for her sake.

Going's on

Never a dull moment here at our house. It's spring break which means we are working hard at home this week. Joe's yard project is finally getting somewhere. I have no idea what he will do when it's actually done. We are going to Disney next Tuesday so I have been getting ahead on school work so I don't have to worry about it while on vacay.
Bristol is now 10 months old. Her little personality is hilarious. She is serious but can be such a jokester at times. She knows the word no but defies it already. She loves to swing in her swing outside, loves going for walks in the stroller and hysterically laughs at Xander when he chases her bubbles. I just cannot believe that I will be planning her FIRST birthday in less than 2 months.
Seeing every ones pictures of the beach this week has thrown me back into panic. Sleepless nights just imagining that day all come back to me. I know this is something that I just have to work through but right now it seems like the pain of our loss of Kennedy will never get easier. My chest hurts the same now as it did that day. I really long for the day I will get to hold her in my arms again.
Bristol and I visit Kennedy as much as we can, I want Bristol to know her sister and to feel comfortable visiting her. I think she knows her sister is in Heaven though.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere, right?

We have been in a whirlwind of busy-ness ever since Joe got back from his cruise. Things need to slow down! Being busy is a good thing but I feel like I never really know if I'm coming or going. Add to that we have a 9 month old drama queen that is teething. Ugh! I need a drink or just one uninterrupted night of sleep.
Several months ago we made the decision to look into foster care. For some reason we both felt that we can provide a stable home for a child that needs it. We still feel this way. Unfortunately though, after submitting our application and waiting forever for a response we were scheduled to begin our 10 (yes 10) weeks of classes on the day we were leaving for our beach convention. We also have a disney trip planned in March which would fall on week 7 of the classes. How is this is a problem? We cannot miss any classes if we want to be licensed. Shelby county tells me they are in a crisis situation and have too many kids and not enough homes. Well crap! I wonder why. They definitely need to re-vamp their education process. My only thought is that this is not the right time for us to do this. I just can't help but obsess over it though.
I'm still missing my Kennedy so much and hate that she isn't here with us. Joe and I decided that her and Bristol would NOT get along. Bristol is hard headed and extremely demanding, two things that annoyed Kennedy a lot. I'm beginning to realize that the memories of Kennedy are what keep me going every day. The pain is still here but I am so thankful for all of the memories I have of her.
The relentless pursuit of getting my Master's degree begins finally on Feb 27! I'm excited but nervous. I just don't feel like getting into school mode again. I feel like I have been in college forever! Oh wait, I have!
I'll update again soon!

Productive Week so far!

Phew! I have been busy! We are adding some new products to the business this year and that has kept me pretty steady for the past few days. We are actually going to run the office as the store that it is. Which means more time over there from me and Joe (and Bristol)! Work at the hospital has become much more demanding too. I'm having to make some difficult decisions with all of the changes they are forcing on us.
This is the year of organization for me. Since July 2010, things have piled up and taken on a life of their own. I am going to work so hard at getting organized and staying organized this year. I wonder if Hoarders wants to come to my house....
Hopefully in the next few weeks there will be lots of new exciting things happening for the Halechko's, I will keep you all posted.

One year of blogging!

Wow! I have been doing this for an entire year! When I started this I just didn't know where it would take me. I've read some of my previous posts today, interesting to say the least. I am definitely a mess when I'm pregnant!
Hopefully I will be able to dedicate myself to finish my book, I really have been slacking on it. I have decided that 2012 will be the year for the Halechko's, we are going to get organized, build our business, grow our family (I am not pregnant but more on that later) and most of all love our sweet Bristol. Our life is being led to explore some different paths, ones that we normally would never consider. I'm hoping to have some definite details to share with all of you soon. ;)
Happy 2012 to all of you!