Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bittersweet Return

We made the painful decision to go back to the beach this past weekend. We chose not to go to Orange Beach but instead went to Pensacola Beach (If you recall the picture of Kennedy with her back to the camera looking out over the gulf, this is where it was taken in May of 2010).

May 2010

September 2011
 It was actually an easy trip. Bristol was surprisingly easy, although we were both sinus-ey, it was still a great trip.

I wondered if I was going to be able to even look at the water. I find it hard to look at it on TV or in pics, but being there made me want to see it. I only went in up to my ankles and that is probably all I will ever go in and that is fine with me. It was nice to not have anxiety when I saw the beauty of the beach this time.

We were able to make some pretty pictures with Bristol on the beach. We collected seashells, something I will always keep as a reminder to us of our strength to go forward. Will the beach ever be the same for us, NO, but we will continue to make new memories and grow from the old ones.

Our Little Family Feet
Reality hit me when we walked back into our house. On our last trip back in without Kennedy it was a somber, depressing entrance, the dogs even laid down and cried. This entrance was nothing like that, Bristol was wide awake in her carrier, the dogs were running around ready to be let outside, our life has continued on. It's amazing how slow and fast these past 14 months have gone, some days (most) are a blur and filled with anger and sadness but others are filled with the joy of Bristol. She is truly a blessing!

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