Merry Christmas everyone!
Last year we didn't celebrate any holidays and this year we are only easing back into it for Bristol's sake. I want her to be able to enjoy these special times with family and friends without feeling guilty for doing so.
Those of you out there who think I/we use "our circumstance or situation" for special treatment are dead wrong.
1. Kennedy's death did not happen so I can have off of work at Christmas.
2. While you are enjoying your own child(ren) open their gifts left by Santa remember: I WILL NEVER, EVER SEE ONE OF MY CHILDREN, KENNEDY, OPEN CHRISTMAS GIFTS AGAIN. EVER!
3. Holidays, be it Valentine's day, 4th of July, Martin Luther King Day, will always be painful for us. While you are out enjoying the festivities we are grieving and missing our daughter who we will NEVER get to spend another holiday with.
4. Christmas shopping for others is almost unbearable when I am leaving out buying gifts for a child that loved opening them. Seeing the toy section in a store can bring me to my knees.
5. If I wanted fame from something in my life, I would have robbed a bank!
6. July 2nd (Kennedy's death) and August 26 (Kennedy's birthday) will always be a "holiday" for me. I will not be at work either of those days. Get over it and get used to it. While you are out celebrating by lighting fireworks on the 4th of July realize that I cringe at each and every firework. That's how "fun" my holiday's are!
The death of a child is awful and something I would never wish on my worst enemy! Life is forever changed, normal everyday events are unbearable. The physical pain from missing them is more than any pain med can erase.
I leave you with a Merry Christmas! Enjoy your families today and everyday, kiss the little ones an extra time and hug them extra tight and pray for those that will never understand the toll that this loss takes on everyone.