Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dreams and Anniversary's

Things have been pretty quiet here. Calm before the storm? Let's hope not. I am a bit jealous of Joe. He has had several dreams about Kennedy but I have not had a single one. Why does he get the dreams? I want one too. I've never really been a big dreamer, I guess I just don't remember them. The vivid details that Joe describes to me about seeing Kennedy in these dreams makes me so sad. He gets to hug her again, I don't, he got to see her at a much older age, I don't. I only get to hear about them after listening to him moan and almost cry all night long. I always know when he's had one, his sleep is a mess those nights. I can feel his pain in each cry.

The only dream I have had recently, that I remember, is that Bristol was born without a head. I have heard about the crazy dreams that one can have during pregnancy, but really wasn't expecting that. She has a head, I saw it! What am I thinking? So silly.

While shopping this week in Wal-mart I walked down the Easter aisle. Already? I have now realized that holidays are hard. Not just for me but for so many others. Unfortunately it is sad that we relate a holiday to the death of a person but we do. Deaths seem to happen around the holidays a lot. Easter is definitely going to be a holiday that I know brings friends of mine to their knees. It makes me wonder how we can be so "happy" when the holidays roll around. July 4th and fireworks will never be the same for me. It's hard to even look at fireworks on TV. We were supposed to be watching them with Kennedy that weekend. She called them 'firetrucks'.

Joe and I have also tossed up renewing our wedding vows. Our anniversary is July 7(it will be 10 years this year). We forgot about it this year until late that day when Joe said to me "wow, some anniversary". Dates to me at that time were non-existent. I just cannot see how we will celebrate anything around that time. I wish that money were not an option and we could go away for the entire month.

Please think of others when you are enjoying your holidays or celebrations, so many of us out here are hurting during these times.

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