All of the stress and anticipation of my return to work was overly-dramatized. It was easy. It was good. I must say, I work with the best people! Everyone is always so eager to help, genuine in their concerns and so supportive. I worried about how people would take me, would they walk on eggshells around me? Would they be afraid to talk about their kids with me? Everyone was great the lunch room was filled with nursing RN's pumping their breasts (working in labor and delivery has made us all very comfy with each other:)), others proudly showing the newest pictures of their precious children. I felt normal, my new normal anyway, for the time I was there.
This morning was hard on me. I really have not had to get up early for anything the past six months. My old routine was back. I had to be at work at 7 am (Sunday I go back to 5a-5p shift). I managed to 1. sleep decent last night 2. wake up without too much hassle. When I used to go to work for 5am, my 3 am shower was done with the shower door open. The noise the door made when it shut would usually stir Kennedy, who slept right above that earth shattering noise. My instinct this morning was to leave the door open, I stopped myself right there, this practice was no longer necessary. It is the little things like that that make me miss Kennedy so much.
I worry about Joe on these weekends while I am working. He loved his time with Kennedy on the weekends. She was a daddy's girl then. During the week, she was my girl. Saturday's were spent with Daddy at Waffle House (somewhere Joe still cannot walk into) eating tons of hashbrowns. I would usually get a visit from them at some point during the weekend. Whatever their routine was, it was theirs. I worry how Joe will react to my being back at work. Early on he made the statement to me that he needed me here on the weekends because he just didn't want to be alone all weekend. I think and hope he will be ok. I have a honey-do list a mile long that should keep him busy. We have both come so far since that time.
Thank you Brookwood Girls for making my realize that my return is worth it. Your support is so much appreciated while I transition back into this phase of my life.