So I said my text post would be a vent session on the things people say after a loss. Here goes...
I do not know statistics but I do know that many people drown each day and each year, especially toddlers. After Kennedy's accident for reasons still unknown to us, the media was all over it. We don't know if it was because of the coverage of the oil spill or what but we were bombarded by hurtful comments on various websites and even asked to do interviews by people posing as concerned friends on facebook. Questions like "where were this child's parents, I would never let my child with a baby sitter around water" infuriated us. People continued to question our parenting skills which drove me to the limit. I already felt like a failure for not protecting my daughter then I had these outsiders thinking the same thing. I finally came to the conclusion that people always have and will continue to have their opinions and I had NO control over them.
Aside from hurtful comments on websites we were faced with the multiple stories about the accident. We heard that we were all drunk, that Kennedy ran into the water, that we were doing cocaine on the beach with an older man, you think it we heard it. We were vacationing with a large group of people yes there was beer (10 bottles between 8 adults, 4 of which were carried up to the room later). Kennedy did not run into the water, she was carried in to wash off after making sand angels. Rip currents are extremely dangerous. The cocaine story, how far fetched is this one? I am a nurse, I cannot do drugs, I get drug tested. If I were to do cocaine I highly doubt I would be doing it on a fairly crowded beach for others to see. Isn't that something that is generally not displayed?
My point to all of this is that it is hurtful to a grieving family to hear stories, any story that isn't the truth. I have learned from all of this that unless I actually hear the story from the parents I cannot take it as the truth. The last thing I ever want to do is misspeak. I know people do genuinely believe that they know what went on but unfortunately that is not the case. I felt like most of those first few days I was (as was Joe) correcting people on their version of the story. To have to re-live it over and over is just excruciating.
Thank you for allowing me to get this off of my chest:)